i feel like i've been preparing for the next 3 months for longer than 3 months. ok, so i only started physically packing a couple of days ago, but i've been mentally preparing myself since i received that acceptance letter in the spring. i'm going to study in spain for the fall semester.
there's no way i can really prepare myself. heck, i don't even know where & with whom i'm living! i can be flexible and wait til they tell me all this (important) information during orientation...however... my mind has been all over the place, especially over the last 2 months. coming home from italy made me wish i wasn't going at all. not that i didn't want the experience, but that i didn't want to miss out on siena reunions and the rest of my lovely nova family. then i just felt nothing but nervousness. i'm not very confident in my spanish skills. and to have my classes taught in spanish, to live with a spanish family... beyond nervous. and the past week has just been shock and excitement. all this time & energy talking and thinking about it... it's here. it's finally september! my suitcase has clothes in it....just not folded. i'll do that tomorrow. i have a pile of books to read on the plane and i bought euros at aaa.
i have one whole day left....
today opened my eyes. i always knew villanova was a great place, but today i really felt how great. that campus is full of some of the most impressive people i know. if you're reading this and i ran into you/spoke to you/hugged you/got teary in front of you during my visit...just know you've made an impression on me. i'll carry it with me all semester and through til january when i return to campus with a vengeance (and a fully-functioning wildcard)!
i know that the next 3 months will fly quickly by. i also am prepared for the first week or so when it's awkward city and i'll just want my mom, my bed & my friends... but i'm also prepared the the weeks in between that and my flight home. it's just hard to imagine that everyone else's lives will not pause. it will be a week til christmas eve once i return. i will not be joining my family at the thanksgiving table.
but one day at a time. so that means tomorrow: a viewing. work. meatloaf with mac&cheese. packing. lecki. wings. see you later's. last sleep in my bed.
"i was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. it is there all the time." -anna freud
I know exactly how you feel about being nervous...I didn't want to go for a while either (i actually tried to talk my parents into letting me back out). It's so weird that everyone at Nova will go on living just the same whether we're there or not.
ReplyDeleteI found this quote and I always re read it anytime I start to second guess myself about going.
"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore." -Lord Chesterfield
Have fun!
Amy, if you ever need someone to talk to about surviving a fall semester away from family and friends, missing out on all the action at school and experiencing another country's attempt at American thanksgiving, please email/facebook/skype me. These three months will fly by. I'll have to share with you the playlist I made for the day I came home. I started listening to it the day Amanda left the first weekend in November.
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